Honey (teaser)

Thick amber liquid drizzled through the air. The instant it hit the warm flesh waiting below it began to melt. Running in lazy rivers over the flat planes of his stomach, the honey left a sticky trail that just begged to be licked clean. A small puddle of the sweet treat pooled in the depths of his belly button. Peyton’s mouth watered just thinking about how good it would taste.

(Caution: Explicit content. Readers must be 18+. Thank you)

The muscles under his tanned flesh jumped and bunched as the cold honey dribbled slowly, almost painfully slow. She wanted to put an end to it, wanted to say screw the games and jump straight to easing the unrelenting ache building between her legs. But Jude had asked for this and she was all too eager to give him anything he wanted.

Glistening, gooey globs of the sweetness clung to the light dusting of hairs just below his navel. Her gaze followed that happy little trail down until it ran for cover under the waistband of the black silk boxers she’d bought him. The soft material clung to him, hiding no detail from her hungry eyes.

Waiting to strip him out of that thin scrap of material drove her mad with need. Peyton’s fingertips itched to feel the warm velvet hidden underneath the silk. Unbidden they traced the skin just above the elastic band, spreading the honey where her mouth was soon to follow.

Jude groaned and shifted on the bed. Looking up, Peyton noticed the sweat beading on his forehead. His hands dug into the blankets in an effort to remain submissive to her teasing. He was always in charge. Always. Seeing him fight to remain in control yet surrendering to her sent wet heat soaking through her panties.

Peyton dipped her fingers into the bowl of honey one more time. She brought them up to dangle over his chest. Dollops of thick syrup fell onto one nipple then the other. They hardened under the attention, small brown peeks surfacing through puddles of sweetness.

Another groan pulled from Jude’s parted lips. His chest rose and fell rapidly while she made a show of licking her fingers clean. Muscles bulged in his forearms as his grip tightened. He wasn’t going to last much longer and she knew it.

“You promised,” she reminded him, her voice deep with desire.

“Fuck!” he growled. “Just hurry.”

“That is the last thing I am going to do.” Peyton set aside the bowl and threw a leg over his so she could sit on his thighs, pinning them.

(More to come… be patient)

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6 thoughts on “Honey (teaser)

  1. Phwew, okay, a nice short one with plenty of meat. I hope I’m not missing the point by offering criticism, feel free to delete/disregard. 🙂

    I love the visuals, and you’ve got a good handle on what to show and how to get it across, just think you could compress things for more effective writing.

    Thick amber liquid drizzled through the air. The instant it hit the warm flesh waiting below it began to melt.

    Maybe better as…

    Thick amber liquid drizzled through the air, melting as it hit Jude’s warm, eager flesh.

    and like

    Glistening, gooey globs of the sweetness clung to the light dusting of hairs just below his navel. Her gaze followed that happy little trail down until it ran for cover under the waistband of the black silk boxers she’d bought him.

    could be

    Her gaze followed the glistening, gooey globs of sweetness clinging to the light dusting of hairs below his navel, running for cover under the waistband of his black silk boxers.

    I realize that happy little trail is clever, but it’s one of those darlings that can die, lol, and instead of tacking “she’d bought him” onto the end of that, you can move that thought, which is important with the whole eroticism/control/serving/whatever aspect into the next sentence, where you describe how nicely they cling, and I think it would be more effective.

    “almost painfully” – almost + adverb is never strong writing, it either is or it isn’t. It might seem counter to what I’m saying above, but sometimes expansion is good, too, instead of “slowly, almost painfully slow” which is a repetitive adverb sandwich, you can strengthen it by referring to how it’s as much a torture for her as for him.

    Compare
    “She wanted to put an end to it, wanted to say screw the games and jump”
    vs
    “She wanted to put an end to the silly games and jump”
    or
    She wanted to end to it, say “screw the games” and jump
    jump to what?
    straight to easing the growing, unrelenting ache between her legs.

    Like I said, just my thoughts on how to improve what is already some great work!

    1. Thanks sweetie. This is just a tidbit to wet appetites. The full edited version will be up later tonight…. if I can get my brain to cooperate. Oddly, writing intense sex is a distraction all its own. Who knew?

      I’ll keep your notes in mind when I go back to fully edit before posting.

  2. Madison Woods

    Wonderful tease it was – surely left the reader waiting for more! Let me know when you’ve posted the rest – and don’t stress over it. You’re doing a great job! I’m paying attention to Tao’s suggestions myself, will need it in my own later.

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