In an act of desperation, I sat down to talk to my wayward muse. We haven’t been on the same page about anything in quite some time and the fact that I can’t write has driven me to… well, talk to myself.
RC: So nice of you to crawl off your couch and join me, Larry.
Larry: If that’s how you’re going to act, I’m going back to The Price is Right…
R: Gods, you are a pain in my ass. Why have you deserted me these last two months?
L: You are incapable of focusing. Trying to wrangle you to do what I want is tedious and not how I want to spend my time.
R: Wait a damn minute, isn’t that what I’m supposed to say?
L: Look behind your desk, RC. You see that wall of Post-its? Those are all the ideas I’ve given you this year, yet you say you can’t focus on any of them. Bullshit.
R: I’m confused…
L: I know. You gave yourself too much to do. Again. Back off and quit forcing shit.
R: This is not how I thought this conversation would go.
L: What, you thought you could read me the riot act about not being there for you and then I’d fall on my knees, begging you to forgive me? I’ve been here all this time, you just can’t hear me over the five-billion other obligations you’ve given yourself.
R: How the hell am I suppose to choose between everything I have to do?
L: Not my job to organize your life, toots. Now, there’s a couch and some potato chips singing my song. When you get your shit together, you know where to find me.
Well…. I wasn’t expecting that. Unfortunately, the surly muse in a tutu is right. I have far too many pokers in the fire and the stress of trying to keep up with everything is killing me. Evidence of this has come in the form of George the headache, who has taken up residence in my head for the last week or so.
Something has to be done. I know this. But, gods, I’ve promised so much to so many lately… and I can’t let any of them down. It’s against my nature to fail so utterly.
Posts here have, obviously, been delayed. With Larry miffed at me for overworking my mind I don’t know when a new story worth posting will pop up. Part 5 of “Be Ours Forever” is still in the works. I may cut that section shorter than planned and post it for you all in the next week. Don’t quote me on that, though.
I apologize to donors that have aided me in hopes of seeing more stories since I then didn’t have to stress over money. Too many other things have come up. Some of which are completely out of my control.
With any luck, Larry and I will be back to work soon.