Oops They Screwed Up Again

It is hard to take anything seriously on True Blood when the continuity between episodes and the series as a whole is thrown out the window willy-nilly to fit whatever idiotic story lines the drug-addled brains of the current writing team have thought up. I saw several people who watched the Eastern airing (I watch Pacific) saying that this week’s episode of True Blood was a lot better than the rest of the season. Apparently “better” is a relative term. It is “better” if you’re willing to forget the five previous seasons. On top of universe laws they’ve acknowledged from the books since season one. Maybe I’m being a picky cunt for the sake of causing a ripple in the “True Blood rocks” pond.

I like to think I’m enlightening the masses.

(Spoilers below. If you haven’t figured that shit out by now, you need to read more of my reviews)

Screw up #1 – The entire time table from the end of the last episode does not line up with the beginning of this one.

Jessica kills the fae girls, Bill runs to her side, Andy pulls up outside the Compton house, and Bill hears him. But in this week’s episode, Jessica is crying over the girls, Bill comforts her, he senses Ben (Warlow) being hurt, Bill leaves, and Andy shows up at the Compton house. I know they’ll try to pass it off that Bill looking up at the end of last week’s episode was him sensing Warlow’s pain. It doesn’t compute. The scenes have been changed entirely to fit this new angle they found to try and salvage the atrocious Billith and Warlow story lines–by combining them into one gigantic suckfest of sucktastic proportions.

Nothing can save these characters. They changed Bill completely. He’s no longer the character from season one at all, and not just because he’s possessed by Lillith. When they made him king of the territory, he became just another empty alpha male stereotype. The writers seem to love those on this show. The only problem is, they are under the illusion that alpha males equate assholes. Not so. Alpha males are highly responsible, hard working, dedicated to the safety of the people in their charge. Alpha males are intelligent, think matters through and access every possible outcome before making a decision. Alphas do not belittle the people around them, jump into unknown situations head first, sacrifice the safety and happiness of their loved ones for the sake of power. If I can figure this shit out, seasoned television writers should, too. It isn’t fucking rocket science, it is basic human psychology.

Screw up #2 – Sookie is hanging in the breeze.

In season two of the show, they went to great lengths to establish and prove a blood bond between Sookie and Bill, and Sookie and Eric. So much so, the vampires fought about it endlessly. And I believe at one point, the bond saved Sookie, though my memory of season two is a tad hazy. The point is, Bill and Sookie shared blood a few times. Their bond was strong. I can’t remember how many times Sookie had Eric’s blood, but I’m sure they had a strong bond as well. One of the two vampires should have been able to feel Sookie’s distress when her ghost daddy decided to finish what he started when she was a kid (yeah, trying to dance around that spoiler). Yet neither of the vampires reacted at all when she’s screaming and fighting, and utterly terrified.

Billith says he doesn’t give two shits about Sookie, but somewhere in there has to be the Bill who somewhat fell for the awkward Merlotte’s waitress. And there’s no fucking way Eric, despite his imprisonment, would ignore Sookie’s distress. He cares for her, in ways that scare him to the bone. Eric should be tormented, fighting to get to her even while he’s fighting for himself. He’s selfish, to the point of being a jackass, but he’s loyal to a fault. Like a good alpha should be. Eric is still the only alpha male the writers managed to get right. I’m not so sure how much of that is their writing or Skarsgard’s ability to warp the script to fit the Eric he knows inside and out.

Those were the two huge, glaring issues I had.

Alcide is still a douche. I’m not even going to waste finger power typing out my disgust.

All of our vampires, except Bill and Warlow, are imprisoned now. We’re getting some good interactions between Tara and Jessica. I couldn’t give two shits about the governor’s daughter, yet the long pan shots of her looking miserable seem to be trying to make the audience feel something for her. It won’t work. You have the two favorite characters on the show–Eric and Pam–locked up as well. The pity will go to them, then Tara and Jessica, long before fans give the governor’s little vampire a second thought. As far as we’re concerned, she was made to die eventually. A lot of new characters zip in and out of the story. We don’t grow attached unless they’re something damn special.

Poor Andy. We got the emotional depth we were deprived of last week with his arc. Sadly.

I don’t know what the fuck they’re doing with Terry. Personally, this twist in his story makes me uncomfortable. As someone who suffers from severe depression, what he’s debating is a huge trigger. So I’m just going to side step it. Sorry. Some things are best left unsaid.

Sam’s arc is going no where fast because it is tied up with the stupid werewolf shit. Kill the wannabe shifter savior, send the little girl to family out of state, and get him back home. Sam belongs on Bon Temps. Or at least in an A story line, instead of the L (for fucking LAME) story he’s trapped in now.

They keep putting Sookie in mortal danger, with no hope of escape. She’s become a damsel in a god damned medieval story tale. Someone so incapable of stepping foot outside her bed, she needs constant supervision just so she doesn’t get dead on her way to the pisser in the morning. And everyone wants to have sex with her, apparently. Does she have a gold-plated clitoris? Is her pussy flavored like chocolate cake? It makes no sense that nearly every character not related to her wants to crawl up the skirt of one of her little summer dresses. Sookie is attractive, yes. If she used a little more of her damn brain, even I’d consider tapping that. But for us to believe that everyone wants a piece of that? Come on. No one is that desirable.

That’s it for this week. Are we almost done yet? I’m going to need more rum.

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4 thoughts on “Oops They Screwed Up Again

    1. The wolf is beyond salvaging. He isn’t the character anymore. He’s “Pissed off snarly dude #3” in the script. And it sucks, because Alcide had so much potential for the show.

  1. Angela

    I was really hoping that Quinn would make an appearance in the HBO series.. but I’m thinking that since the series is so far away from the novels.. its probably not going to happen..

    1. Quinn would be wasted on the show now. Which sucks because I’d really like to see him, Alcide, and Sam all sizing each other up. There’s no way, with the way the show is focusing on the vampires (which was not always done in the novels), that they could fit in different “flavors” of weres like Quinn. Plus, after the clunky way they brought in the fae side of the family, I don’t friggen trust the writers with ANY other book characters.

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