My muse is named Larry.
Not a lot of people I’ve met will admit to having a male muse. Of those people the majority of them picture their muse as being an underwear model. You know the type: Shoulder length hair that has just enough wave to look unkempt all the time. Abs so tight you could bounce a pair of panties off of them. Lets not forget those strong arms that are always so comforting to step into on a Bad Writing Day. (These can also be considered Romance Cover muses)
Larry is none of this.
I like to think of him as being the result of a horrible cell splicing incident. Larry is a mixture of Larry the Cable Guy and the Absinthe Fairy from Eurotrip. He is fond of the spandex and tutu look, much to my constant horror, and for some reason wears pink. Those who know me at all will know I absolutely abhor pink in all of its variations. I suspect Larry does it to irritate me. Its one of his many hobbies.
Larry’s hobbies include, but are not limited to: Visiting nudist colonies, watching girl on girl porn, and sleeping on the couch. On top of those favorites he also has a knack for waking me up in the middle of the night with a good idea. Or preventing me from sleeping altogether with yet another Good Idea.
I must note, Larry has never led me astray on a Good Idea. However we are still discussing his impeccable timing. Whenever I cannot possibly get to the computer or even a pen and paper, Larry is there force feeding me ideas. His favorite spot is the shower.
Yes, he is a pervert. Why do you think most of my work revolves around sex?
It wasn’t until about three or four years ago that Larry finally showed his face. As much grief as he gives me, I love the fat bastard. He allowed me to reach outside of the box and find my voice as a writer. Its a brash, bold, and sometimes abrasive voice, but it is mine and damnit, I make it look good.
Larry and I will continue to work together until either he finally pisses me off enough to squish his ass with a fly swatter or he forces me to type my fingers down to nothing but bloody stumps. Either way I am incredibly happy with my discovery of Larry. Now that I have my life back on the proper path he and I can create new stories to thrill, disgust, and entertain the handful of readers I’ve gathered.
Oh, by the way, Larry is the head of the Complaint Department as well. Address any and all problems you have with my writing to him. He’ll probably moon you as an answer, but who am I to tell him how to run his department? *smirks*